Monday, June 11, 2007 3:59 PM
An Excerpt from A Book
The Life Journal of Griddory Catt,
Written by Joe Rica
Published by Girat Publications
June 11 1999
It had been quite an emotional rollercoaster for me for the last few days, it felt as though the whole world had collapsed upon me and I am desperately struggling out of the debris caused by the collapsed world.
Lots of problems regardless work, personal, relationships and family had cropped up screwed my mood and routine life for the past 2 weeks. It was beyond my imagination that such strong feelings could turned one’s mood so drastically, a moment you are jovial and smiling, the next moment, you turned into an autistic person who shuns others and speaks no word at all. Sometimes I really thought that I had fallen into the category of depression.
There were no one whom I could air my desperation to, or maybe that’s what I felt. Maybe… I just don’t want to spoil their moods, disturbed the lives of others just because that I am sad and need a person to talk to. I had always confided my problems to Regar Moss, it’s just that I can’t do it now because it concerns him.
It’s undeniable that we are best of friends; there is nothing on earth which we can’t discuss or talk about… but since the broke up with Marilyn Hills, things had gone horribly wrong. Regar sort of voluntarily acts as a middleman between Marilyn and me, trying to patch us up.
I never knew the real reason of the broke off until several months later when Regar prompt me to stop avoiding Marilyn and go on to have a decent chat with her instead. I found out the real reason over the breakup and found it acceptable but to some of my friends, they say that it’s totally absurd! It’s just any other reasons to pacify the other party and make him less raged about the whole breakup.
There is also one thing that I found out that is, Marilyn still has the feelings for me. I told myself that Marilyn and I were not suitable for each other and that even if we did patch up, the ending will still be the same. I will not allow myself to sink into the abyss of sadness ever again; the feeling is just so unbearable. Think that’s when Regar came into the picture.
It happened so that Regar began going out with her for dinners and movies, and it’s so happened that I found out about all these. Regar had not been truthful about these, maybe it’s because he does not want me to know as he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings or arouse my suspicion.
I felt a bit depressed at first that both of them were so close, but on the other hand, I felt that it was also good that both of them are hitting off so well. I even prompted Regar to go woo her… haha.
Maybe that’s when I felt all the sourness and jealousy but couldn’t aired them out, because I don’t want to hurt our friendship, he is my best friend after all. I just kept to myself and acts that nothing happens actually. But recently, I felt like I am avoiding Regar too, maybe unconsciously, seeing him just makes me think of Marilyn… it’s quite agonizing, but still, I acts as though nothing happens actually.
It’s just that I was prone to showing out my feelings on my face, and am quite a bad actor too. Guessed that Regar felt it too though, but he doesn’t says anything or maybe he didn’t notice anything at all, which will be better on my side, due to the fact that I hope he doesn’t knows about how I am feeling at this moment and I don’t want him to know either.
I felt that I am a fish monger selling fish, and a stingy merchant who gives to charity, being a hypocrite and I hate myself for that. Hope that things will get better and time can fade off my feelings for Marilyn. I just hope to be back to normal, and Regar will remain as my listener and a best friend, it will be a pity if I lost such friend to such minor problems.
Griddory Catt
I found this excerpt from one of the online readings on the web, I meant a book and I quote it down in my own blog. Because it somehow coincides with what I am feeling at this moment. Yups. Hope that Griddory will get over his problems soon and I will get over mine soon.
A little comment on the book, it’s quite informal judging from how the whole excerpt is written, felt as though he is writing on a blog and there is a bit of grammatical mistakes here and there. Haha.
My problems however will not be posted on this blog for personal reasons. Haha. But don’t worry I am fine k?
Jason signing off.
